


They all will be waiting there

by Anuna



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen, Implied Jealousy, Speculation, emotional hurt comfort, firendship, hugs are the best thing when you're sad, rejection issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anuna/pseuds/Anuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You two have each other and Coulson has May, and I feel like I lost my go - to person." Fitz and Simmons realize Skye isn't feeling well ever since the team left the hotel in Ireland and go to her, to offer her not one shoulder, but two. </p><p>Episode tag to "The Well" with added speculation on the following episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They all will be waiting there

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta admit that latest episode and speculation regarding the upcoming one have left me with a feeling of unease about the show and group dynamic. I am especially worried about Skye and her possible reaction, if she found out that Ward rejected her offer to help and then turned to someone else, which, even without shipper goggles on, could upset her because their trust and relationship already is on shaky legs. After discussing this with a friend I figured that preemptive strike might be in order, so I decided to try and make myself hurt worse than upcoming episode(s) might. My goal was to write out my thoughts and vent without insulting either character or ship, and sum up my feelings about Skye and everything she's been through as an orphan child who never had a home, and always wanted one, and was always rejected. That, and I just wanna give Skye a big, big hug. 
> 
> The title comes from "Your heart will lead you home" by Kenny Loggins, which is a gorgeous song about friendship and now my Skye & Fitz - Simmons theme. Anyway, writing this was both cathartic and hard to do. feedback is always welcome, as long as it's given politely. :)

“Hey Skye,” it was Fitz and Simmons, standing near her door, wearing matching worried looks. As soon as she'd seen them, she wanted them to leave. There was a prickly feeling at the back of her neck, like someone trying to pick a lock. There was a reason why she avoided having conversations for the past two days. It couldn't result in anything but weirdness, which was why she needed to turn down their obvious attempt to talk to her. Which was kind of ironic. 

However, she didn't want to hurt either of them. With a cheery smile on her face Skye braved the concerned looks. 

“Hey guys! What's up?”

Simmons looked at Fitz as if they were wordlessly debating who should start this. That meant they came here with a pre discussed plan, and Skye wasn't certain how she liked the thought of _that_. She at least hoped nobody noticed anything different about the way she acted around Ward or May. Crap. 

“We know something's wrong,” Fitz started carefully. Skye faked surprise, making sure her eyebrows rose high enough, and her voice was steady. 

“What? Nothing is wrong,” she said, telling herself not to think of yesterday morning. Because that was... okay it _was_. She just shouldn't go back to it. 

Simmons' smile was apologetic, just like that day when May caught her with Miles. _You missed a button._

May. She didn't want to think about May. Not that she disliked the woman, hell no, if there was someone she felt crazy admiration for, then it was Melinda May. Every nice thing May told her made Skye feel like she'd gotten her chemistry homework right. Chemistry was always the hardest. Except, now it all felt somehow tainted. And _that_ felt kinda fucked up. 

“Skye, we're not blind,” Simmons said in her sweet and tender voice. It washed over Skye like a gust of wind, chilling and unable to prevent. “We can see things.”

“What things?” Skye kept her smile in place, downplaying the implication of seriousness in their expressions, but her tightly plastered smile was falling apart. Fitz pressed his lips together, a contrast to the look he was giving her. Simmons took a breath, like she was looking for words. 

“We think you saw something... back at the hotel,” she finally said, like she didn't want to pry (which she probably didn't). “And ever since, well there's that look on your face -”

“- every time you see Ward and May together,” Fitz finished, nothing less than scientifically precise. 

Skye's smile fell off. There was nothing more to keep it in place, not for the lack of trying. She didn't want to discuss this with anyone. So what if Ward spent a night with … ? He had every right to do it. It wasn't her business. They were colleagues, not friends, well, she thought they _were_ and tried to show him that she was, you know, willing to listen, but he seemed to find a better fitting shoulder, and well. Yeah. That was that. 

“Skye,” Simmons said softly. There was that tell tale pressure climbing up Skye's throat, tightening it and threatening to spill over her eyelashes. Which was stupid, okay, just like ache in her chest was stupid and uncalled for. She wasn't going to be some lame and petty person, jealous of her teammates or judging their actions especially after such bad situation - 

Except she felt _bad_. Undefined, amorphous kind of bad, and there was nobody to talk to about it, because she'd normally go talk to Ward before - 

Before the whole Miles thing. Right. 

Fitz and Simmons were standing there with their warm looks and concerned faces and the knot in Skye's chest was too sharp, too heavy. And then the world became a little blurry, and Simmons was saying _oh Skye_ and hugging her and that felt good, that felt like a relief. Finally, _finally_. 

She pressed her face against Simmons' shoulder. It was like being seven again, hiding under a blanket, when foster parents were angry, and for a moment she could pretend the world was quiet and safe, until someone pulled back the covers. 

_We're bringing you back_. 

Yes, it always ended like that. Because she'd done something wrong. She always did. 

“Close the door, Fitz,” Simmons said. 

*

Half an hour later Fitz brought his laptop, which was awesome, because he had all the good movies.  
He had Doctor Who and Torchwood and X Files. All the awesome stuff. And a bowl of popcorn. Skye was staring past all of it, though. They were huddled close on the bed in her bunk, Skye's cheek on Simmons' shoulder. She felt boneless, tucked in between two of them, and yet still out of place. She started at the screen but didn't really see what was going on, instead she poked around her thoughts, aloud, lulled by the physical warmth of two people on each side of her. 

“I just feel weird. Bad kind of weird. I mean, it's not like he owes me something, or -” she paused, wishing she waited for someone to open the door of May's hotel room after she knocked, but she was in a hurry and she pressed the door knob. Grant was not supposed to be there. _Ward_ , she corrected herself. With hair wet from the shower. Wearing only a towel. Which was... okay, she could do the math. She could live with it. “I didn't expect that.”

“I can imagine that,” Fitz nodded, balancing a bowl of popcorn in his hand. Skye smiled a little, then continued. 

“And I'm not trying to be, you know, judgmental about it, but -” she sighed and tried to put the feeling weighing in her chest to words, but her emotions seemed to run ahead and away from the thoughts she could verbalize. “I told him he could talk to me. As a friend. And, you know, offered to help him. And he said, not this time because he was tired and … You know, I told him about me. Before. I told him about foster families.”

“Oh,” Fitz said as the realization sunk and his face changed. As did Simmons', almost as if they could share thoughts telepathically. “We didn't know -”

“We didn't,” Simmons was shaking her head. 

Skye nodded. “I guess I don't like to talk about myself either.” 

Except with one particular person, which was an irony at its finest. She wasn't sure why it had been easy. There was something about hearing that fucked up thing about one brother beating the others and then having a gun pointed at you and realizing this wasn't a game. She didn't feel like joking around any more. 

“It's not an easy thing to talk about,” Simmons said, both of them uncharacteristically quiet, and damn it, this was exactly what she didn't want to do. Yet, when she told Ward about it, it felt like he could understand. Not Coulson or Fitz and Simmons, or May. Not at that time. Not even now, well at least not like Ward. And then she ruined it, didn't she? She always ruined things. 

“The point is, ... he was my go – to person. And then I messed up -”

“Oh Skye,” Simmons hugged her cautiously, like she would pull back, and even though part of her wanted to, Skye stayed. “Everyone makes mistakes.” It was something Fitz said to her before. 

“I know. I'm afraid I won't be able to fix this mistake. He either doesn't trust me, or -” she took a breath, grappling with the conclusion to her spiraling thoughts. “Or I simply won't be good enough. As an agent or, you know -” she trailed off, stifling the hurt in the back of her throat. “I mean, how can I compete with – with -”

“It's _not_ like that,” Fitz said quickly, laying his hand on her shoulder and shaking his head. “I don't think it is. You're upset and you're seeing it wrong, that's all there is.”

“Yes,” Simmons added, leaning her face on Skye's hair and pulling her closer, and that felt unexpectedly nice. “They've both been through that, you know. The Beserker staff effect. It's -” 

“Chemistry,” Fitz chimed in. Skye almost laughed. Only it wasn't funny at all. 

“I know. I understand that, but it doesn't help me feel any better, and _that_ makes me feel kind of awful, you know? It's not like I have something to be jealous about -” She drew her knees to her chest and moved away from Simmons, so she could put her chin on her knees and hug her legs. _Yes_ , she thought. _The only person who hugged you._

“You're not awful,” Fitz insisted softly, carefully stroking her back. “Anyone would feel bad if they offered their help to a friend and said friend went to someone else.” 

Skye stared at the laptop screen, her thoughts momentarily detached as she contemplated Matt Smith's hair and how it possibly could work and a fingerprint in the right top corner (probably Fitz's), which she would wipe away, only she felt like she had no strength to spare. 

“Maybe. I can't help it, you know? It kinda feels like I lost my go to person,” she paused, fixing her gaze onto the screen and contemplating the ridiculous clothing choice of Eleventh Doctor. It would have looked horrible on anyone else. With Smith it was just a good fit. She should have known, though. Hoping for something and then losing it, right? That was a recurring theme in her book. “You two have each other and Coulson has May, and I, well I have my laptop, but thanks to this -” she lifted her arm with the tracker bracelet. “Surfing isn't what it used to be.”

“Skye,” Simmons said gently, her tone shaken. “You're not alone, Skye.”

Fitz was shaking his head. His eyes seemed watery.

“No, no,” there was a hand on each of her shoulders. “You're not alone with us.”

“You can always talk to us,” Simmons added, smiling. 

“Always,” Fitz assured. 

Skye tried to say something, but the sound was stuck inside her throat. The science babies hugged her as on cue – generous, warm, full body hugs, and comforting words and promises that they'd always be there for her. And they would, she knew they would, and even though that brought immense relief, it didn't fix things. 

“I lost Grant, though,” she said, realizing that she used his name only after she said it. If Fitz and Simmons thought she was petty and selfish and ridiculous, it didn't show on their faces. Or better, they didn't think that at all. 

“Oh no,” Simmons stroked her hair back and behind her ear and smiled. “No, no,” she said emphatically. “I don't think you lost him. But it's just.... complicated, you know?”

“Yes,” Fitz affirmed, “complicated.”

“Yes,” Simmons added, “because this, this is a rough patch for all of us, it seems. You're trying to find your place around here, and the SHIELD and Ward is going through rough time -”

“And he needs to figure things out,” Fitz finished for her. 

“So you're both feeling kind of … lost,” Simmons' voice was sad but her eyes looked hopeful. “You can't really help each other when you're both feeling like that.”

Skye let that sink in. She didn't have anything else to say, and even though she was tired her thoughts were busy in a merry – go – round that was driving her nuts. As soon as she managed to rationalize one thing, another thing would pop up, so yeah. She definitely felt lost. How did this happen again?

“That actually makes sense,” she said. 

“Of course it does,” Fitz looked at Simmons, like he was asking her to offer a final bit of wisdom, like he knew she had it. And she did, of course. 

“Not everything is lost,” Simmons spoke. “You know how they say, bad times won't last forever?” 

Skye smiled. The knot in her chest was loosening, feeling a bit lighter. She leaned her chin back on her knees and let her feelings rein her in. It sucked, okay? It sucked, and maybe that wasn't very noble of her, but tomorrow she could put on some angry music or something. Screw being noble. 

“Yeah, you're right,” she agreed with Simmons. “But they last.”

“But you have us,” Fitz hugged her carefully. 

Okay, she thought. It wasn't ideal, and it was messed up and maybe she wasn't the best person out there, but she wasn't the worst either. And she had them. Friends. She leaned into Fitz, welcoming Simmons' arm around her. 

“Yes,” Jemma said. “And we're not going anywhere.”


End file.
